i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
