i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
