Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
