return my video game
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
