Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
