12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
