Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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