A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I AM VODKA MAN
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
