You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
