I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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