girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
