just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
