Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize