Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
