stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I love you. Go after that dick
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize