His hands were made for my vagina.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
