we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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