My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
