OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
