The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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