Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
