I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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