winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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