I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this just has baby written all over it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
