addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize