Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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