how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
