honey bunches of taint.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
