First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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