If that was your dad, he is hot
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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