the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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