Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
