My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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