U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
