would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
