all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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