What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize