in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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