I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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