He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
