batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
