Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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