She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize