Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
