next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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