I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
