The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
