ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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