Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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