I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
