So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
