I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
