I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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