Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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