I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
