I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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