plz talk dirty to me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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