wat bout pragnant strippers??
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
