Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
