Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
