Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
